A FULL SCALE Postmortem

Looking back at what was, is, and may be.

After the morning after
After the night before
When all of the fun is over
Would you not want me no more…¹

So it’s been two weeks. How am I feeling after completing Full Scale (Monster Hunter Mitchell, Book 1)? In a word: great. Of course, I’m not done done; there’s still more editing to come, and then I’m going to do something I never have—submit the story to a professional editor for additional cleanup and suggestions before moving on to publishing for sale online. But to the original point, I’m feeling the usual senses of relief and accomplishment that come with the end stages of a project.

I started Monster Hunter Mitchell with the intention of making it a novella series with each book running about 25,000 words, but somewhere along the way that rat bastard Impostor Syndrome started kicking my ass and I felt the books needed to be longer to be taken more seriously (and avoid the dreaded “it’s too short”—though each installment could be 65,000 words, and there would still be folks complaining. Try as I might, I can’t please everyone). Full Scale is currently sitting at 34,200 words, and, thinking about it now, I’m wondering if the subsequent books should be a little shorter so I can release faster. It would affect the price point, naturally, but it might be something I tinker with. Not likely, but a possibility.

What I loved most about writing the book on Substack was being able to release material while going back and making edits as needed. There was a small litany of times as I discovered discrepancies and inconsistencies as I worked my way through the draft. I also enjoy the concept of serializing as a means to workshop stories before going all out with them. The experience allowed me to sharpen my process behind the scenes and make it more efficient. Hopefully, I’ll feel the full effect of those changes moving forward, because it shouldn’t have taken me as long as it did to finish Full Scale. Seriously; it was a rewrite of a story I’d previously had up for sale, which in of itself is embarrassing because going back over the book and knowing what I know now—I never would have published it in the first place. But that was me, impatient and desperate to have results and people reacting (favorably, I’d hoped) to my work. I’ll be better about that in the future; it will save me time, and instead of having to go back and rewrite previously released work before I can move forward, I can break ground on new projects and new ideas. After all, I keep talking about how I have so much I want to get to—which is a nice segue to my next thought…

It’s been hella tough writing and promoting this story constantly and not getting much engagement. I mean it; I’m sick of looking at my own graphics, and I bet others are, too. To be very fair, though, I do have a handful of faithful supporters—my ride-or-dies, if you will. But like any writer, I have insecurities, and I’m not too ashamed to admit I’m obsessed with seeking validation. Can’t fix a problem unless you own up to it, right? But given my paltry reads and subscriptions, it has made me wonder if I’m writing something that no one wants.

Should I cut my losses and move on? Should I stick to the original plan of writing and releasing the first three books in the series, then gauging interest from there? It’s tough to keep moving in the face of so little return—especially when you see others on your level (or used to be, anyway) explode and grow their readerships exponentially across their platforms. And I’m not naïve; I understand romance and romantasy rule the fiction roost, and while throngs of authors are writing about fucking the monsters, I’m over here writing about fighting them. I get it. I’m not writing the popular thing (especially in Black reader circles). Knowing all that, I should just shut up and keep it moving, right?

Right?

I absolutely want to make a living from my work, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t constantly worry if I can have a career writing dark urban fantasy/horror as a Black man. There are not a lot of examples I can point to, and of the few I can—all more prolific then I—they are not at the level I’d think them to be given the amount of work they’ve turned out. It’s humbling, really, and feels next to impossible. I may be a lot of things, but I’m no Ethan Hunt.

So…what’s next for the Darquelight Universe? I’ll stick with the plan for now and move forward with Monster Hunter Mitchell Books 2 and 3 (expect an announcement very soon) and see where things go from there. Who knows? I do have a few romance and urban fiction ideas I could write under a different pen name. Maybe if things don’t work out on the speculative side, I’ll give those a whirl. I’m positive I’d get more engagement and grow a reader base quicker than I am now, but what can I say? The nerdy stuff is first in my heart.

At least for now.

1. “The Morning After” - Maze, featuring Frankie Beverly.